CANCER!
Too much thinking causes brain cancers
Tuesday, May 26, 2015 by: Adam Michaels, The Health Deranger

The act of thinking can cause brain cancers! In a recent paper publish in Cell magazine it has been shown that thinking can accelerate some forms of brain cancer, however new studies recently disclosed to Natrual Newd have show that even just thinking about something too much or doing your own research into whether the things that you read on the Internet are made up or not can CAUSE CANCER! Apparently thinking for one self is now dangerous to health.

Government stepping in

Having been privy to these studies for some time, the UK government is set to change Freedom of Speech laws in order to protect their citizens from too much independent thought, as with sweeping reforms to the NHS taking place, it was deemed that the service would not be able to cope with the proliferation of brain cancers that will stem from people questioning why the government is privatising the service under the guise of "reform", and if people were allowed to think about it too much the whole country would be dead or dying within 3 years!

Mandatory sedation

According to doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital, one way of slowing cancers growth would be to sedate patients in order to slow down their brain activity and hence arrest the development of tumours. Other plans leaked to us from our mole in Government are to raise the levels of water fluoridation by 5000% in order to further sedate the populace and help stem the tide of brain cancers that will surely come as people question whether or not the government is doing a good job.