Russian War Dog
Russians Genetically Modify Dogs For Combat
Thursday, Jun 25, 2015 by: Barry Hummus, Uropathist and Scatologist

New intelligence gathered from popular Internet forums has shown that in their drive to enhance their already diabolical arsenal of war machines the Russian Military Industrial Complex (Not to be confused with the German EBM band of the same name) has produced a genetically engineered war hound.

After crossing the ferocious Siberian Mastiff with genes extracted from mammoth DNA the Russians have created cavalry horse size hounds that are capable of carrying human riders as well as heavy loads like BUK missile launchers. It is believed that these dogs will soon be put to the test in war torn Ukraine where Putin's top special forces operatives are currently on vacation.

Further details of these new and ferocious products of genetic modification are sparse but we believe that Monsanto will soon be using a similar process to improve beef production, this research is being sponsored by McDonalds subsidiary "100% Pure Beef TM"

The following image shows a still from secret footage in which Russia's Vladimir Putin can be seen taking the animal for a test run. Putin riding enhanced russian war dog