Beef Curtains
Meat Eaters More Likely to Suffer From Faustitas
Thursday, May 21, 2015 by: Barry Hummus, Uropathist and Scatologist

Meat eaters around the world seem to be suffering from faustitas. A once rare condition which very few people have experienced. It is unknown why only people who eat meat are affected but we suspect it may be due to extremely high quantities of iron found in meat.

Men and women who eat beef curtains every day are most likely to contract the disease. Eating breasts and sausage in any form also seems to contribute. Men and women who eat bratwurst are also at risk. Swallowing raw oyster regularly also appears to bring on mild fits of faustitas which shows that not even pescatarians are safe.

If you do eat meat regularly, please take precautions and practice safe meat eating. The safest course of action though is abstinence. It is easy to find substitutes for many meats in the local super market. Zucchini's, carrots, peaches and oyster mushrooms offer similar benefits to the meats listed above.