Studies show that almost everything is covered in fecal matter

After recent reports circulating on the Internet about how Beards contain more poop than some toilets and that Airline tray tables, seats and blankets are also a hot bed of bacteria and fecal matter, your dedicated team here at Natural Newd decided to conduct some detailed research into the coprological levels in all aspects of daily life, and the results are shocking!

Filthy animals

It turns out that humans are basically disgusting filthy beasts, with the vast majority of us barely able to function as sentient beings. Huge swathes of the populace are not washing their hands after visiting the lavatory and thus, pretty much everything is covered in sh*t! So our advice if you are one of the tiny minority who is capable of following basic hygiene rules is to stay safe, and never leave the house. Also never invite anyone into your home unless they can confirm that they are following simple cleanliness guidelines (you may wish to accompany them into the facilities to confirm this).