You'll go blind son!
Internet porn enthusiasts shocked to discover they're going blind twice as fast as previously thought!
Thursday, Aug 09, 2018 by: Barry Hummus, Uropathist and Scatologist

Internet porn addicts around the world now have twice the worry about going blind, as in addition to the old adage that you were warned about as a teenager, that too much jerkin' of the gherkin will send you blind, new studies have been released showing that blue light will hasten the effects of excessive monkey spanking, due to the blue light that is emitted by digital screens.

Recently operating system vendors have been catching up with the wonderful f.lux and incorporating the technology to reduce the amount of blue light emitted from screens to help aid sleep patterns, with Windows, macOS, iOS and Android all sporting new built in options, but it will almost certainly see an increase in use by chronic masturbators keen to preserve their peepers now this new evidence has emerged, or perhaps we'll see a resurgence of old-fashioned paper based porn.