Latest News

Tue 11, Jun - Adam Michaels, The Health Deranger
As reported previously on Natural Newd the GMO super weed developed by the Mexican Drug Cartels in collaboration with the Illuminati continues to affect ants in unexpected ways, as demonstrated by the shocking new footage uncovered by our sources shown below.  The size of the joints now being collec...
Thu 9, Aug - Barry Hummus, Uropathist and Scatologist
You'll go blind son!
Internet porn addicts around the world now have twice the worry about going blind, as in addition to the old adage that you were warned about as a teenager, that too much jerkin' of the gherkin will send you blind, new studies have been released showing that blue light will hasten the effects of exc...
Tue 22, May - Ben J. Johnson, Staff Writer
The Internet may well collapse under the weight of GDPR email subscription opt-in emails being sent out by companies desperately scrabbling to retain the 1000s of emails they collected by hook or crook. With new meddling EU regulations coming into force on the 25th May, companies that have used dub...
Tue 1, May - Adam Michaels, The Health Deranger
Stupid is as stupid does
A recent study published in the Proceedings of the National Institute of Science (PNIS) has shown a incredible, if unsurprising, link between how often a person reads "Health News" websites and their IQ. After interviewing a number of people about their website habits, it was shown that regular read...
Mon 29, Jan - Adam Michaels, The Health Deranger
Blue Moon to be Bloody Super
Various groups across the globe are excited for the 2nd Full Moon this month on the 31st of January, as the number of adjectives used to describe it reaches record levels, being that it's a "super" moon (meaning it will appear an almost imperceptible amount larger than a regular moon) combined with...
Mon 23, Oct - Nellie G. Speck, Staff Writer
Recent findings have concluded that microwave ovens are responsible for the increased stress and anxiety and is also blamed for some individuals becoming a useless, gelatinous mass, according to wellness experts. Tests have concluded, radiation is leaking from the kitchen gadget and is scaring many...
Fri 13, Oct - Adam Michaels, The Health Deranger
Not a genius
Are you able to get 110% of these brain blasters correct? Only certified geniuses are capable of knowing all the answers to these 10 tricky questions! Give it a go and then share your results with the other idio...geniuses on your friends list! Q1. How many dots are there on a pair of dice? 42 P...
Wed 4, Oct - Adam Michaels, The Health Deranger
All natural remedies and therapies are 100% effective at curing imaginary illness according to new research reported in the Proceedings of the National Institute of Science (PNIS).  A wellness blogger in Australia was able to cure her fake cancer purely with the aid of healthy eating, natural remedi...
Sat 29, Jul - Nellie G. Speck, Staff Writer
Seated in her sterile kitchen with bowls of fruit carefully placed around the worktops you could not mistake you are with a ‘Clean Eater’. Jan Billery, part of the Billery & Sludge duo known to many as wellness experts and part of the clean eating plan that has been rolling out for several years...
Sat 8, Jul - Cedric Cedarwood, Environmental Activist
Hypocrites across the globe have been freaking out after the recent approval by the FDA for a so called 'Frankenfish' otherwise known as AquaAdvantage salmon, produced by AquaBounty. "I really don't like the idea of humans mucking about with the DNA of animals.", said the hypocritical owner of this...
Alternative News Headlines from across the web, updated hourly